The Sound of Real Life Happening

a practice for unf**king your nervous system

Table for one

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1. It all started one day during Trump's first term, when I randomly wrote a list of 11 things. What they were is beside the point.

2. The number 11 was significant to me in that I was born at 11:11am. Some people believe this has magical, mystical qualities.

3. Next thing I knew, a whole new writing form was born. Rather than leaning into the woo-woo part, I decided to call this offering the Sound of Real Life Happening, because real life is, after all, where we live.

4. Like Ram Dass said (I'm paraphrasing), it's great to trip out, but you also need to know your zip code.

5. For me, and the many folks (hundreds?!) who have joined me in this practice over the years, writing 11s is a way of grounding into what is, a way of acknowledging all of the disparate things we may be feeling/thinking/doing/being at any given moment, without any pressure to make them fit together or make sense. It is what we bring to it, and it can hold everything, while creating a bit of space between thought, a space where we can breathe and come back to the here and now.

6. As I scroll and read the news and work, take the dog out and catch up with my kids and cut up a peach, daydream and doze and notice my own shifting states of being throughout the day(s), it's easy to have moments of thinking, it's all just too much.

7. And it IS all too much. None of us is designed to have this many things at the forefront of our consciousness.

8. How to stay aware and engaged without flooding your nervous system, how to keep it small when everything is so big, how to balance joy and optimism with realism and an appropriate degree of engagement (and very real alarm), how to pay attention, truly pay attention...

9. I have no special wisdom here, and many people ask these unanswerable “how” questions these days.

10. What I can offer is this container: A group of 11 humans who wish to spend 11 days together, writing each day lists of 11 things that are real and true, for you, with zero pressure to write anything in particular.

11. What I now see, after many years of writing 11s both alone and with others, is that this is a practice in unf**king our nervous systems. Going around all jacked up and spinning out doesn’t help anyone or anything. Writing things down, you might argue, doesn’t either. But at the very least, it does help us reconnect with ourselves, acknowledge our capacity, name what is taking up space in our hearts and psyches and bodies, and, just maybe, extend greater compassion and empathy to each other. From there, who knows what else is possible…

Join me for a special midsummer session, July 11-21. We’ll write in a private Facebook group and have one live Zoom session.

There are also more details on my website. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

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