New Year's Eve 11s

A blur, a blink, a blessing

1. Dinner at The Harp. Perfect, chill. Half a cocktail. All before 8pm. My kind of party.

2. Last night we started a show on Netflix called Beef. So good, so far. (And so far, so good.)

3. Got myself out this afternoon for a run. Well, more like a jog, or a shuffle, but none of that matters. I cried for a minute in a field then kept going. I realized my heart is broken and there is still so much joy and I sang a little to the rickety bridge across the rushing creek. I lost a hat that I will go back to look for tomorrow. Everything and nothing changed. I came home, took a hot shower, and practiced the piano.

4. Restore to factory settings. What are a human being's factory settings? What do we bring with us and what do we learn along the way? What is adaptation and what is innate?

5. If the future seems too big or much or scary, walk with me to the next tree. Then that one up ahead. Then that bush with the red berries. Then that bench... see it? We can make it this way, one small landmark at a time.

6. I feel so tempted to say this year was hard. But this leaves too much out and tells a lopsided, one-sided story. This year was a year. Yes, there were some hard things. Some clarifying things. Some confusing things. Some consuming things. Some galvanizing things. Some maddening things. Some exhausting things. Some terrifying things. Some disconcerting things. Some disappointing things. Some harrowing things. Some outrageous things. Some required things. Some optional things. Some miraculous things. Some experimental things. Some flopped things. Some fakakta things. Some decisive things. Some before-and-after things. Some sweet things. Some delightful things. Some surprising things. Some satisfying things. Some sexy things. Some moonlit things. Some hell-no things. Some absurd things. Some simple things. Some celebratory things.

7. Hugs are my favorite. I know not everyone is a hugger. I am most definitely a hugger.

8. How we see ourselves and how others see us can be shockingly different.

9. I am overthinking these last few 11s.

10. The thing with this practice is that you just write something, anything. Like how today I took down the old calendar and put up the new one and soaked in a bath with Epsom salts and none of it matters and all of it matters.

11. Goodbye, people who were part of my life and are no longer part of my life. Goodbye, mud and the lost hat. Goodbye, lessons learned. Goodbye, old year. You were a mixed bag, a road trip, a Forrest Gump box of chocolates, a hot mess, a siren, a series of seasons, an unsolvable riddle, a blur, a blink, a blessing.

Thank you for being part of my world in 2023 – as readers and cheerleaders, clients and group members, friends and fellow travelers. I'm grateful.

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