Friday Dispatch: More In Common

11 things after the DNC

“I feel that the dormant goodwill in people needs to be stirred. People need to hear that it makes sense to behave decently or to help others, to place common interests above their own, to respect the elementary rules of human coexistence.” ~ Václav Havel

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Friday greetings,

1. Since I wrote to you a week ago, I have traveled to Colorado and back. Pearl and I had a super sweet time, with Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak as our stunning backdrops. He’s all moved into his dorm room and is navigating orientation week in a new place far from home. Such a monumental transition – I'm sending love to all the families going through it!

2. Aviva has moved to her new digs and started her new job in NYC. Getting early morning texts – moonset, outfit check – has been delightful.

3. Today, my parents’ house is being professionally photographed. It will officially go on the market next week. Their realtor and I have been friends since high school and I may work with her on writing up the listing. How wild and special is that? It is strange to see the house looking emptier and emptier, and also interesting like I’m seeing more of its essence with so much of the stuff gone. Yesterday, my mom and I removed the rocks she had collected from various travels that lined the perimeter of the side porch. We nestled them into the base of a tree next to the barn, out of sight, and imagined returning 20 years from now to see them. Surely they will still be there.

4. Last night, M.J. and I went to a panel discussion hosted by the Jewish Federation of Western Massachusetts. Rabbi Aaron Fine (UMass Hillel) and Rabbi Bruce Bromberg-Seltzer (Smith College) spoke about their experiences on campus last year, and what’s on their minds as a new academic year begins. On a related note, a dear friend who knows me well texted me A Jewish Parent’s Blessing for Sending a Child Off to College in These Challenging Times by Rabbi Naomi Levy. May the new academic year begin with ease.

5. Also on the panel was Massachusetts Senator John Velis, who spoke passionately about his “Amendment to Combat Rising Acts of Antisemitism in the Baystate,” which passed in a unanimous 40-0 vote in the State Senate in May. In an interview last spring, he said, “I’ve had a lot of meetings recently. I should say with constituents telling me about their kids, kids eight years old, just young young young telling me about how their loved one, their child, their grandson, granddaughter is embarrassed to say, sad to say, scared to say that they’re Jewish.”

5. The line at Fox Rental Car on Saturday was more than an hour deep, with only two people working behind the counter. Pearl waited with his bags outside while I got to know the people on either side of me: An older couple who owns a family lumber business in Paris, Texas, who proudly told me stories about their town, and a father and adult daughter who had flown in their respective homes in Southern California and Minneapolis to go to the Broncos-Green Bay game last Sunday (he was the Broncos fan, and she is a die-hard Green Bay fan). We had really fun and friendly chats.

6. The Minneapolis woman was maybe 30-ish. She is finishing an MBA while working full-time. I cheered her on and told her I’m considering going back to school myself. She asked what for and when I told her, she excitedly shared that her ex-boyfriend was Jewish and that she’d had the opportunity to experience Shabbat services and dinners in a variety of settings, from an Orthodox synagogue with a mechitzah to a Jewish Renewal song circle, which she loved. It was a sweet and unexpected connection, and she kindly reciprocated the encouragement.

7. Finally, my turn came, and we all said our goodbyes and wished each other well. I had just completed the rental car paperwork when the young woman behind the counter asked me where I got my necklace. “Oh, this?” I said, raising my hand to the Star of David I rarely take off. “This was my 16th birthday present from my parents.” She said no, she meant the “Bring Them Home” dog tag, which I’d forgotten I had on. She said she was curious because she’d seen a few people wearing the same one earlier. I told her I got it in Jerusalem in July, then asked if she knew what it was about. She did not. So I told her it was to maintain and raise awareness of the hostages who were kidnapped by Hamas on October 7 and are still in captivity in Gaza. She thanked me for telling her and I felt like my necklace had done its job for the day.

7. On the way home, a woman did ask me about my star. We were waiting at Gate G24 when she spotted it. Her eyes grew wide and she asked, “Are you Jewish?” I told her yes, I was. Her face lit up. Then the conversation took an unexpected turn. “Are you also Christian?” I did not see that one coming! Nope, just Jewish, I said. She proceeded to tell me that she and her church – she was heading home to Oklahoma – LOVE Israel. I told her I was there this summer, and she sighed wistfully, saying she would love to walk in Jesus’ footsteps and how amazing the Old Testament is. It was both surreal, endearing, and a little disconcerting. I noticed the assumptions I was making as I harbored a little fantasy that by the time we landed in Chicago, she’d want to vote to protect my marriage, our daughters’ rights to bodily autonomy, and my trans beloveds’ medical care.

8. All of this feels so very tied to the national moment. I got home Tuesday night in time for Doug Emhoff’s speech, which I told M.J. made me feel like we were out to dinner with friends and he was telling us the “how we met” story. Wednesday and Thursday we stayed up way past our bedtime again. Michelle’s “DO SOMETHING.” Gus Walz overcome with pride, pointing, “THAT’S MY DAD,” making millions of us cry with him. Jon Polin and Rachel Goldberg weeping on stage and reminding the world that the remaining hostages represent 23 different countries and half a dozen religions. Jon Polin’s words so close to my heart: “There is a surplus of agony on all sides of the tragic conflict in the Middle East. In a competition of pain, there are no winners.” Tim Walz’s fourth-quarter pep talk. And so many other moving, inspiring, and authentic shorter speeches and stories from civilians and politicians – Democrat and Republican alike – whom I’d never heard of but won’t soon forget.

9. And finally, of course, Kamala herself. “Kamala Harris, for the people.” Her speech spoke to my airport encounters of connecting with strangers – and yes, fellow Americans – from earlier in the week.

10. We have more in common than not. Oh, how I want this not only to be true but to be our beacon. I have to tell you that writing that last bit stirred a bit of judgment or self-consciousness, as if sharing this vision is simply naive. But honestly, friends, I am so tired of cynicism.

11. This week revealed, or maybe clarified, a parallel to me that I’m curious about exploring more and that feels extremely important: The democracies in both America and Israel are deeply flawed. The democracies in both America and Israel are extremely imperiled. And finally, the people in both countries deserve leadership that will help us to right things and move us towards our potential, not our demise. To do this, we don’t need to deny what’s wrong. As Maryland Governor Wes Moore beautifully put it: “I’m asking you to make your skepticism your companion, not your captor.” On the contrary, we need to care enough to talk about it, learn together even in the places we differ, and do something about it - together.

Shabbat Shalom and love,

Jena

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