Friday Dispatch: Every Feeling Fully Felt

Fifteen hours driving, two blissful days, one wondrous life

Friday greetings,

On Tuesday, I drove to Maine to visit Pearl, who is working at a family camp in Acadia National Park for the summer. Forty-seven hours mostly outside–water, woods, ocean–together with quality time with my kiddo, filled my soul, sun-kissed my skin, and left my calves just the right amount of sore.

We hiked up the Ladder Trail of Dorr Mountain (steep, anyone?), jumped in the Atlantic, capsized a Sunfish (twice!), and caught up in a double kayak. I tried lobster and savored two scoops of Mount Desert Island Ice Cream (which M.J. and I have had in Portland and remains perhaps the best ice cream I’ve ever eaten). I swam in Echo Lake, saw a mama and baby loon, and stood beneath a canopy of stars at 2:00 in the morning (perks of having to walk outside to get to the bathroom).

On the way there, Aviva and I texted (hands-free for me, don’t worry) about AI. Her passion and perspective helped me consider my evolving position about it from a creative and ethical perspective, something I’d like to write about here at some point.

Coming home, I listened to the first four episodes of Future Tense, a new podcast from the Shalom Hartman Institute, hosted by young adults who are grappling with pressing questions about Jewish belonging, identity, Zionism, and liberalism.

A few more words about this while we are here. Lately, I feel like it’s hard to write about any of this because all the things are so interconnected. I get overwhelmed.​ At the same time, I don't want to hide behind "overwhelmed." This reminds me of something Donniel Hartman said in a recent episode of For Heaven’s Sake, another podcast I listen to weekly​, which is that ​w​e – Jews – cannot hide behind the word “complicated.”

This is, ironically, complicated. Why? Because so much of what is happening truly is complicated, extremely so, and the lack of critical thinking, deeper learning, and a willingness to hold multiplicity and nuance​ are huge​ problem​s in today’s social and political landscape.

At the same time, I heard in his words something else, something direct and urgent.

Dead babies, hungry children – there is no complexity there. Just anguish and a human responsibility not to look away, to care, to call for their aid, and an end to this hell. Hostages, also starving, abandoned by their own government​, ​again, I see no complexity. Just anguish and a human responsibility not to look away, to care, to call for their return home, and an end to this hell. ​

My heart continues to cry out together with 74% of the Israeli population who want to see an end to this horrific war, even as I continue to struggle with how, and even why, to write about it. Every possible thing has become so utterly politicized, such that individual words – morality, security, liberation, safety – feel like lightning rods that can be wielded as weapons, wrenching intention and meaning away from the speaker.

I can say this much: Being quieter publicly may be (mis)perceived as apathy, approval, or antipathy, none of which are the case.​ More like evidence of deep pain and, to the best of my ability, ongoing engagement offline, thick intertwined ropes of reality, and a near-constant layer of consciousness that I often don’t feel I can express adequately or helpfully​. This is no doubt why I seek out writers, thinkers, and leaders who do not shy away from the dichotomies that can feel impossible to hold and the realities that feel unbearably painful to witness.

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The Academy for Jewish Religion has published a new literary supplement, in which I am honored to have a poem. A free download is available, or you can order a hard copy through Amazon here.

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I got home from my Maine adventure last night just before 10:00pm. Chalupa greeted me with gusto, and M.J. had made the bed with our pretty new sheets, where I slept with gratitude for it all – this life, this love, these kids, this body, and the world with all of its wonder, beauty, aliveness, love, and loss.

While we were talking, Pearl and I talked about the expression, “Follow your bliss,” and how “bliss” isn’t necessarily only what feels good, but rather what happens when we are open to leaning into what Joseph Campbell described as “every feeling fully felt.”

This can be easier said than done, of course, which is why all of life is practice: Practice loving what we have even when it’s hard, recognizing the love that is right in front of us, throwing ourselves at joy every chance we get, doing our best to stay in a learning and growth mindset, and sitting with the painful parts with as much presence and care as we can.

That’s all I got today, friends. I hope wherever this late-July dispatch finds you, there are moments of pure joy, and that you can meet the hard parts with compassion for yourself and those around you.

Shabbat Shalom and love,

Jena

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