11s – Creation from Chaos, Light from Darkness

The big picture and the right now

1. Last night, instead of subjecting myself to you-know-who at the you-know-what, I went to my hevruta (learning partner) Valerie Cohen’s final Jewish Studio Project practicum workshop on Zoom.

2. It was quieting to delve into texts that offer new ways of seeing and relating to "tohu va'vohu" – chaos and void, light from darkness. To be in creative process alone, together. To set aside to-do lists and fear. To slow down, let my eyes adjust.

3. Deep, sweaty sleep before and after 2:30am, when Chupie desperately had to go potty.

4. Strong coffee. More headlines that feel eerily like they are reporting on normal times. Smells like rain.

5. Creation from chaos. Creation from chaos. What's possible? There are so many ways. Study a text with someone you've never met or someone you've met with every week for 20 years. Paint. Dance. Lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling. Shake like a dog. Do something you usually only do at a certain time of day at a completely different time of day.

6. I mean, does God ever get in a rut? Then what?

7. "Maybe a few good breaths. When my head gets all wonky, I try to get myself a little bit towards to my heart." So says Ben Romano, one of the soulful cantorial and rabbinical students I have the privilege of now calling a peer at the Academy for Jewish Religion. If you could use a return to center this morning, have a listen to his "little bit of anything else" from last night.

8. How do we come back? One breath, one choice, one word, one mark on the page, one moment at a time. Right?

9. There is always the Big Picture and there is always the Right Now. Are they not different ways of saying and seeing the very same thing?

10. That feeling like I'm in trouble. Sometimes, I'm the troublemaker. Good trouble? Yes, no, maybe. Bridge over troubled waters. Now what?

11. Where do we lie down? When do we rise up? If the world is on fire. If my heart and yours are whole worlds. If we are going around with fires in our chests. If we could really see. Bucket brigade. Fire in the belly. Fire in the hole. Fire on the mountain. Singe, sing. Smallest shifts. Smallest signs of regrowth. Start again. Brand new day.

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