11 things after a day trip
Honk honk wave wave
1. Today, we drove to Skidmore College to see our nephew Caleb's senior dance concert.
2. On the way there, small clusters of protestors on overpasses, the most beautiful, powerful, fragile sight. We honked and waved every single time. I told M.J. a part of me feels defeated, but as soon as I said it out loud, something else rose in me, a quiet roar and a deep knowing. I may struggle with despair, sometimes even depression, I may get anxious, I may feel confused, I may overthink, I may procrastinate, I may doubt and dither, I may be clobbered at times by anger or grief. But I will never capitulate, and I will never, ever give up on life or the living.
3. I feel like we are witnessing democracy gasping for breath. Death rattle. HONK HONK. Wave wave. Hello, fellow witness. Hello, fellow traveler.
4. In downtown Saratoga Springs, more honking and waving. We joked about skipping the concert to join the rally, and knew Caleb would approve.
5. Two hours of watching talented, passionate college students pour themselves onto the stage. Oh, how deeply we need the arts – music, dance, lighting, costumes, color, choreography, writing, and the diversity of expression these deliver. How could any of this be deemed a threat? Rhetorical question, obviously. But ugh!
6. Phones off. Family. I love unplugging. I love being an aunt. I love being a mom. I love being a stepmom. I love being a sister. I love being a daughter. I love being a wife. Lucky, lucky, lucky.
7. I have a new mystery spot under my left eye. Writing that reminds me of Nora Ephron's book, "I Feel Bad About My Neck".
8. We saw a pickup with a massive American flag attached to the truck bed near some strip malls. We fantasized about following it and waiting for the driver to go inside a store or restaurant, then quickly climbing up to turn the flag upside down. Oh man, I really, really wanted us to do that.
9. It poured on the way home. Torrential rain. Phone batteries dead or dying, crappy car charger. So we had fun listening to the radio and appreciated how old we are and got all nostalgic for the world before and the music we got to grow up with, before all of the technology that drives and divides us in so many ways, all while knowing better than to wax romantic about the past. It wasn't all that. But it also wasn't... this.
10. Dance. Write. Paint. Sing. Bathe – forest, sun, moon, ocean. Stand on an overpass or a street corner. Read. Cherish your people. Welcome the stranger. Protect the most vulnerable. Grieve. Swear. Check out. Come back. Change the station. Turn it up.
11. We owe it to ourselves. We owe it to each other. We owe it to our ancestors. We owe it to our descendants. We owe it to our kids and grandkids. We owe it to the planet. Honk honk, wave, wave.
It was a good day!
It sounds like a good day. Some days feel like I am just wrenched in two with being afraid and horrified, and we’re all aware of it. But, like you I will see or hear something that gives me hope and reminds me that I have courage.