11 things after 12 hours of sleep

Pondering patience and the divine Presence

Inspired by a Facebook post from Rabbi Josh Feigelson, President & CEO of the Institute for Jewish Spirituality.

1. How do we make the divine Presence palpable in our lives?

2. A friend sends a note. Hi sweetie. Ma nishmah (what's up)? We have an entire exchange in Hebrew. No doubt mine is filled with mistakes but I'm excited nonetheless. Sometimes having less to work with forces you to be more succinct.

3. I text my son, wishing him a safe trip home. Text me when you land, even though I'll be asleep. I see his text in the middle of the night and sigh with relief and gratitude.

4. My spouse and I have been sick. Let me do that, I tell them, whatever that thing is that I can take off their plate.

5. I slept for 12 hours last night. I woke up with the word "savlanut" on my lips. I looked it up to confirm its meaning: Patience. That's what I thought. It's one of the middot, or Jewish values, that compromise a person's character. It also happens to be one of the ones I continue to need to work on.

6. Here's a story from Avot deRabbi Natan chapter 6:

How did Rabbi Akiva start out?

They said: he was forty years old and had never studied anything.

Once he stood at a well. He said, "Who engraved this stone?"

They told him, "[It was] the water, which drips upon it every day.' And they said to him, "Akiva, are you not familiar [with the verse,] 'As the waters wear away the stones'?"

On the spot, Rabbi Akiva made the following deduction: If something soft [like water] could chisel its way through something hard [like stone], then surely the words of Torah, which are as hard as iron, can penetrate my heart, which is flesh and blood!"

Immediately, he returned to studying Torah.

7. It is never too late. To study. To chisel. To flow. To penetrate the fortified heart walls you erected for self-protection. To go in. To come out. To ask yourself where you are. To await an answer. To show kindness. To soften. To sharpen. To wonder. To discern. To wait some more. To go for it.

8. Some problems will remain unresolvable. Hearing this, I balk. I want solutions. Answers. Fixes.

9. But then – the space it opens up. The breath that comes. The possibility that lifts its head, suddenly awake, interested.

10. My daughter sends me a photo. She is standing on top of a mountain. It is rocky and ancient and she is young and ancient and my chest expands with love. The palpable divine Presence.

11. It's everywhere but you have to look. Listen. Feel for it. Open your eyes, your ears, your hands. Maybe even your heart.

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